What is it like to have a cool dad, as opposed to a very strict one?

I’ve lived with the benefits of having the coolest dad ever for almost 33 years now, but this question immediately brought to mind the last time I got to see him, which was at a family get together at my parents’ house on Memorial Day.

I watched him play enthusiastically and unabashedly with my three year old niece, who he and my mother watch a few days a week (she’s in daycare the other days) while her parents work. She adores him, he dotes on her, and it’s impossible to watch them interact without smiling.

I saw him carry a huge platter of veggie kebabs outside and grill them to perfection while the rest of us socialized. The rest of us are vegetarians, and he uncomplainingly cooked a veggie main course even though he’s an omnivore and probably would’ve preferred steak.

At one point during the day, my parents brought out a big book of old mix CDs of mine, many well over a decade old, that I was sure had been lost during a car accident in my early twenties and that they’d found while cleaning out an upstairs closet. When I listened to them later, they were full of music my Dad introduced me to…

…which reminds me: he made a point, when my brother and I were kids, to take us to awesome concerts. He took me to BB King, Crosby Stills and Nash, Simon and Garfunkel, and many more, including, on one memorable occasion when I was a teenager and too young to drive, a Nine Inch Nails concert I desperately wanted to go to (he waited in the car).

At the end of the evening, when it was time to go, I said goodbye, and my fiancé and I headed out to the car. My mother was already outside, and I thought he might come out to see what she was up to. When he didn’t, I went back in for one last hug, and couldn’t find him. So I said goodbye to my mom, and we got in the car. Of course, I had to find one of my newly reclaimed CDs to play on the drive home, so I took a minute to flip through the book while we idled in the driveway.

After a minute of intent searching, I noticed that my fiancé was looking at something outside the driver’s side window, trying to suppress a smile. I looked, and there was my dad, two feet from my window, arms outstretched like a zombie’s, with a deliberately wild look on his face. My mom had told him I wanted another hug, and he’d dropped what he was doing (gathering the trash to take to the curb) to give me one.

That’s an example of one day with the coolest dad. To cover my 33 years (and counting) with him, I’d have to write a book.

I’m gonna answer another question regarding my dad because he’s cool as it gets. But also because I really adore my dad.

Anywho. I remember this one time. It was Tuesday, 17.00 pm and I had a math test the next day, when suddenly, I start listening to some REALLY LOUD MUSIC- oh yeah, my dad has got more than seven speakers, from which two of them are like a 4 year old toddler height, they do let the bass drop-. Oh, what was said music? DeadMau5 or Skrillex or something in between. I go downstairs and catch a glimpse of my dad. He’s dancing and bobbing his head, he turns around, gives me a huge smile and says “What up sis? What’s with the frown? Let’s do some partyyyyy-ie!” – translated from “¿qué onda carnala? ¿Por qué tan aguada? Ven a reventarte un rato”- . I was rather confused, “dad, it’s 17.00pm and I’ve got maths test tomorrow, will you shut the music?”, “nah man, I’m fine. Don’t study, you’ll be fine”, “dad, PLEASE, shut the music!”, “in a bit, let me have a good time first”. The song finished and my dad shut it down. Then he went to my room, asked me if I needed any help, and proceeded to offer me some comfort food.

Good times.

Also, my dad is the kind of wiz who will let you talk about just any topic you choose to talk about, and he doesn’t make it weird. My dad has taught me about every single uncomfortable topic there is and I would still go to him if I have questions about them.

Also, and just another prove of how cool my dad is. I was raised to make no difference between gay, lesbian, trans and/or heterosexual couples. I remember being young and asking my dad, “so if I were to like a girl, would that be okay?”, “as long as you feel like it is okay, then it’s none of my business. I won’t tell you how to live your life.”

My dad knows about raves, J. L. Borges, drugs (he’s quite an abstemious person, though), arts, sex, cooking, 9gag, 4chan, deep web, alternative music, electronic music, jazz music, argot, wine tasting, Facebook, and the likes. He’s not frightened about the questions my brother and I might ask because he’s quite open minded.

Another example of how cool my dad is? We were once in a store, just hanging around when all of a sudden I see my dad running, crossing the street as fast as he can. Then I see it. There’s an old man, wrinkly, with a sad face, in the floor, touching his leg, with some of the garbage he was picking all over him- his garbage “car” had fallen over-. People that were nearer to him than my dad were passing through, ignoring him, even giving him weird looks. My dad races and went to said man. He gets down on his knees and starts reassuring him, “is it your leg? Hang on, we better be careful.” And he waited a bit until the man turned to him and told him something, he gets up and helps the man to get up as well, slowly, paced. The man gets up, my dad helps him to give some steps whilst grabbing him from his back, people were passing and were still giving weird looks so my dad bursts out with “if you’re not going to help, then freaking move on. What do you want folks? May I help you?”, and some guys go and offer their help. Now there are three people helping the man to walk a bit. The man comforts everyone and tells them that he’s okay, my dad offers him money and he refuses, so my dad offers him a sweet and he accepts. The other men go away. And I see it, the man is crying and is profusely thanking my dad. A youngster approaches the old man and gently helps him to walk. They are both thanking my dad. After that, my dad went up to me and tells me, “if you ever see someone falling, you pick ’em up. You pick people up, you help people, you reassure people, you are there for them even if you don’t know them. And don’t expect anything in return, just do it.”

That speech is stilled in my brain like a mantra.

I help people. I help ’em find their steps again.

My dad is cool. 

I’ll share some of my experiences here..

Me: I didn’t want to attend a mock test before 12th Board exams. Called him and asked him what to do.

Dad: Go watch a movie.

——————————————————————————-

Resume got shortlisted, cleared written exam, cleared Group discussion, Technical Interview and Personal Interview.

Result: REJECTED

Reason: Dad’s annual income is more.

Me: DEJECTED

Dad: You need to experience everything in life . He shared sweets to the family members to celebrate my first ever failure.

—————————————————————————

Leaving home for higher studies:

Me: Dad, what if I know something is not good but still want to do it? (Like smoking and drinking)

Dad: You are a grown up. You know what is right and what is wrong. But let me know when you know something is wrong and you still want to do it. Not for the sake of permission, just for information.

NEVER SMOKED OR TOUCHED ALCOHOL TILL DATE 🙂

I don’t know if this qualifies as cool or not, but, this is my story.

Setting. – Evening party organized by my dad’s bank.
Guests. – Mom had to stay home, so dad takes me with.

Incident.

At the party, dad introduces me to some of his colleagues. A particular colleague has a daughter about my age. I experience an ultimate awkward moment as the colleague’s wife tries to set me up with her. She keeps blowing her daughter’s trumpets, as how she can sing, dance, how pretty she is and how “we would make a great couple”. She even goes as far as to enquire whether I like her or not. Red lights go up. She makes us exchange numbers and I am exchanging awkward glances with my dad.

I make a run for it, and slowly try to distance myself from her. No matter what, she has some kind of radar which picked up my smell or something, and she always manages to corner me. If I escape her glances, the mother finds me and takes me to her. Now this is getting kind of sad. So, I make a final getaway and hide myself behind a pillar. I get a poke on my elbow. Scared to death I look behind me,

There’s my dad. He says,
“Quick son, here are the keys. I am covering the mother. The daughter’s over at the soup section. Go. Run. Don’t look back.”


Well, that’s how cool my dad is. We are practically friends. We discuss everything. From society, politics, effects of social media on today’s youth to booze, relationships and occasionally women. My dad’s my biggest mentor when it comes to relationships, social advice and how to interact with people. Raise a glass to my dad.

P.S. He even reads all my answers here on Quora, and he always knows which ones are going to get popular, and which are going to get collapsed.

I recently completed 6 years of my relationship. It was a huge deal and I wanted to share it with my parents. (They already know about my relationship very well, but still in a conservative Tamil family, the whole boyfriend thing is not often discussed openly !)

So I went up to him and told him very awkwardly –
Daddy, today is a very special day for me. Today, me and (boyfriend) have completed 6 years together. And this is the first time we’re going to be together on this day, since I was not in Delhi all the other times”.

I was totally expecting an awkward smile and a “good!

But this is what he said-
WOW! 6 years is really great! I’m very happy for you both. May you have many more years of togetherness. I’m the happiest when you’re happy!

My happiness knew no bounds!
My dad is very cool in general- he’s not too strict or stiff about things. But he gets really ‘Daddy-like’ when it comes to the love life of his ‘little girls’
Him reacting like this! Was just amazing.

Now that’s a cool dad for me!

My dad and I are the bestest of friends. He’s funny, he’s warm, he’s affectionate, and at the same time he’s very protective.

My dad and I drink together, smoke hookah together, play poker together, dance together, and even talk about sex (in a scientific manner).

We crack jokes that are extremely inappropriate, yet we feel comfortable. We fight sometimes too and argue. We punch each other in the arms, and even have a simple gesture of appreciation; it’s the epitome of our relationship, the ever-so-amazing high five.

My dad and I talk about his love interests in the past, my love interests and boyfriends, and he even goes shopping with me, for makeup! I mean, he can’t get any cooler.

We occasionally challenge each other to eat a spicy pepper all the way to the stem, or something crazy. He always beats me, but it’s fun nonetheless.

My dad is really cool, he’s basically the most awesome person in my life, except my mom – they’re a tie. He’s really open minded with me, yet he’s protective. I know his moods and he knows mine. We have a good relationship and we both like to nourish it with our inappropriate jokes and father-daughter dates.

He knows how to be a friend and a dad at the same time, and sometimes it can be annoying, but it’s a blessing. I love him (and my mom), more than anything in the world, and I’m extremely fortunate to have a free, loving, and enthusiastic relationship with my dad (read: parents).

Here are some memories my dad and I share.

My dad and I smoking hookah.

My dad grabbing hold of my arm, because I was going to punch him.

My dad being mean. Lol!

(THIS. IS. SPARTAAAA.) It was -4 F outside and he’s throwing a shovel load of snow on me!

And my dad being loving. He’s the best.

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